Reactive to Intentional
Introducing “Reactive-to-Intentional Worksheet” (R2IW)
The Reactive-to-Intentional Worksheet is a tool Dr. Gentry created to help clients identify the lightning-fast and often unconscious processes that lead us to breach our integrity by acting out of aggression or avoidance.
The R2IW helps us demystify our reactivity by helping us identify the environmental triggers we experience. It serves as a take-home synopsis of the elements of Forward Facing for a person to put into practice in their life between sessions.
The R2IW can become a visual cue for clients to hang on the refrigerator or put somewhere during the week where they often experience triggers to remind them of the process and invite them toward healing.
When you introduce the R2IW to your clients, offer it as a tool to help solidify the information they’re learning as well as a visual reminder they can return to throughout the week. The first time you introduce it, you can work through it together either referencing a past breach of integrity (start with #3) or preparing for future breaches (start with #1).
Even though the sections are numbered, one can choose any point to begin
Eric often starts with #3, and then goes forward in that order.
Discussion Prompts by R2IW Number
#1 Code of Honor
- (If beginning with 1) What constitutes “right action” for you personally? What values take priority for you as you decide who you want to be?
- (If beginning with 3) What principle from your code of honor are you violating when you act out?
#2 Intentional Actions
- If we had a video tape of you acting how you want to act to fulfill your code of honor, what would you be doing?
#3 Reactive “Acting Out Behaviors
- In what ways do you breach your code of honor habitually?
- How did you know you breached your code of honor?
#4 Common Triggers
- Back up a few seconds to a few minutes from when you breached your code of honor and think about your environment. Did something you could see, smell, taste, touch or hear trigger your response?
Note: hearing could be about someone pointing out a mistake you made. Seeing could be a gesture or eye roll from someone you were engaging with. Our environments are rich with many dynamics to draw from, especially when they involve relationships.
#5 Painful Past Learning
- What sensory experiences of your past are similar to this trigger?
- What threat does this sensory experience recall for you?
- What is the painful past learning that contributes to perceiving the threat?
You can return to the R2IW for any additional breaches as a way to develop a deeper understanding of what clients are experiencing.
Once a client learns how to use R2IW, they are equipped with a one-page tool, available to them between sessions, to both remind them of their healing process and help them work through future breaches of their code of honor.